Some Coffee As A Treat
Good morning, World. This morning I decided to treat myself and make coffee, and let me tell you— when you don’t have coffee for a few weeks, that first sip of hot coffee is actually euphoric lol. I’ve been on my unofficial caffeine detox recently (well for the past 4-5 months ish). I got through the caffeine withdrawals at the beginning— the piercing headache that lasts all day even with Tylenol in your system * crying * It was horrible. I switched to tea at first but now I don’t really need any sort of caffeine to start my day. Which is amazing and a huge accomplishment for me, good job girl!
I still like to treat myself though. And today coffee makes sense because I am trying to harness all the possible productive energy to help me Get Shit Done today and feel good about the weekend ahead. And sipping hot coffee at my desk just fills me with the power of all the Girlbosses before me LOL (sorry) okay…
Today’s tarot card was the 6 of Cups. The vibe that I was really getting with the card was a sort of childlike simplicity and joy. So that’s what I’m also trying to harness today— no need to overcomplicate my tasks, let my instinctual creativity guide me, and hug my inner child along the way. I was motivated as well to take out my trash, and while doing so I ran into one of my neighbors. I was really embarrassed to talk to them because I have a huge zit on my lip (well it’s a huge, dry, protruding scab at this point) but I made it through the conversation without saying anything weird. I peeked into her apartment as we finished our conversation and it looked so clean, with actual framed photos and art on the wall… I was like Whoa, my apartment is so childish compared to that. But my neighbor is also a mom with a 20-year-old daughter so I shouldn’t feel bad that her apartment seems more mature lol.
Well I’m excited for this day and am open to all the goodness and abundance and luck and success and joy and gratitude— okay wait speaking of gratitude… I ate breakfast in my kitchen this morning (which happens very rarely, I’m usually eating all my meals in front of the TV because I’m a piece of garbage) (NO I’M NOT DON’T SAY THAT) anyways and I was just noticing how nice it is to sit and just be a human being lol. Everything that I could see, I was grateful for; my view of the sky and trees outside, my dishes, my coffee maker, and toaster. My pretty table cloth that my mom gave me. Everything that I tasted I was grateful for; that first sip of coffee, the exploding yolk of my egg sandwich, that second sip of coffee oh my… I just couldn’t experience anything without feeling the waves of gratitude in my chest.
I had a little vision while I was sitting at my kitchen table. I saw my future self, I think it was a few years into the future. Maybe one or two years. And she just smiled and waved to me. And in that moment I was in my future self’s thoughts and I was thinking “I’ve come so far, everything that seemed impossible back then, was truly possible after all”. I felt that future me wanted to tell me to keep going. Like she was remembering how I feel now, remembering how lost I feel and how stuck I am. And she was offering me some peace, and a hug, and encouragement because I desperately needed it.
I’m not sure what to say about that except for that I’m grateful. And I think I will forever be looking back into the past feeling proud, and encouraging and uplifting my inner child and therefor my past self. I think that’s all for today! Love you, girl.