In A Circle It Is So

I take my clean mug off of the dish drying rack and fill 1/4 of it with water from the tap. Microwave on high for three minutes. Except it really only needs two minutes, so I usually take the mug out when the microwave door starts to get foggy. Usually at this point I have the pan going too, so imagine the sound of butter sizzling in the background. I unscrew the lid of the instant coffee container. If I’m using sugar, I’ll put the sugar into the water first, but I finally bought honey so today I’m using honey. But I’ll put the honey in after I put the coffee in. Okay wait I need a spoon.

The first teaspoon of instant coffee. Dropped into the mug at the furthest possible distance without spilling because I like to see the little brown kernels fall into the hot water from above; and there is a satisfying sound that is just barely there, fine grains of sand into a plastic bucket of seawater. Also the teaspoon can’t be too close to the mug because the steam from the hot water will moisten the spoon, therefore causing the next scoop of grounds to get all stuck together and stuck to the spoon and then it gets the tiniest bit of moisture into the coffee container which I don’t think actually affects anything but it bothers me. But we’re still on the first scoop anyway, and this is the part that gets interesting.

Motivation. I think to myself, or whisper, or just say at a normal volume (if I know that no one is listening). I just let whatever word that wants to come out, come out. This is coffee after all, so usually I am saying something like Energy, Determination, Creativity. Something charged and strong. Success. One word per scoop. I do this quickly; first scoop (Motivation), second scoop (Energy), third scoop (Inspiration). Whatever comes to mind. Tiny grains fall down from a tiny spoon into a warm mug of warm water with the smallest shhhhhh (they fall) plplplplp (they hit the water) zzzzzz (they sink). Motivation Energy Inspiration.

I’ve spoken. I’ve dedicated a purpose to each of my three teaspoons of instant coffee— it’s not always three, by the way, it’s sometimes four or five. It depends on how much help I need that day…

The teaspoon then plunges into the murky waters, dark brown clouds billow beneath the surface and in an instant they destroy what remains of the clear water. (This is why they call it instant coffee).

In a circle, it is so. I say, or whisper, or think, or whatever it is I’m doing. I hear the sound of silver sliding against ceramic as the teaspoon swirls in ten clockwise rotations— it’s not always ten, by the way, it’s always just whatever random number I end up counting to. It depends on how long I need to stir until the coffee’s totally mixed…

I don’t know why I started saying that: “In a circle, it is so”. But it seals the deal. A circling motion of my spoon and the spell has been cast. My dedication has been approved, my letter to the universe has been delivered, my seeds of today’s garden have been planted. How will they bloom for me throughout the day?

If I add milk to my coffee I will dedicate a purpose to that as well. Maybe Nurturing or Love or Comfort. Milky words. Sealed and cast with a circle. I add honey and maybe Sweetness. Maybe Kindness. Pleasure.

How will they bloom for me throughout the day?

I don’t ponder this except for once. In fact I’m already cracking an egg into the sizzling butter and I won’t acknowledge my coffee again until it’s cooled down for a few minutes. I tidy up, I eat, I drink, I take my vitamin D3 and either get back into bed or put clothes on and embrace reality. It’s not until the next morning when I am taking my coffee mug off of the dish drying rack and filling 1/4 of it with water from the tap that I begin to reflect. No, I don’t start reflecting then.

It’s the first teaspoon of instant coffee. In a split second before I call out its purpose, my mind births a thought. Wait a minute… you know what… yesterday’s spell really worked! And accompanied with this thought are the images and feelings of the previous day that had aligned with my silly little coffee words. Remember how motivated I was when this happened? Remember the energy that I felt there? Remember this moment of inspiration?

So I smile and whisper Determination. Or whatever word comes to mind first.